John Muir

Shiny Like Chrome

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:36:00 +0100

This Google news is intriguing. First there was Chrome the browser: clearly aimed at freeing them from Internet Explorer’s crotchety old ways and Firefox’s independent whims. And now there is Chrome the OS: game over for Windows WTF OMG ROFL and so forth. That’s some bold intent on show from Google. As an Apple running Google user, I must say it’s exactly what I’ve wanted them to do for years.

I’m a firm believer in the notion that the great majority of people scarcely run local applications any more. The browser, just like Google said when introducing Chrome, to most intents and purposes is the OS. Google is already at the vanguard of that movement, taking on Microsoft Office at its weakest points with Google Docs, namely collaboration and price, and Gmail is a pretty solid web app for anyone used to Hotmail or basic use of Outlook. Hint: that’s a whole freaking lot of people. For a long time now, it’s been looking like Google is perfectly safe where it is, remaining platform agnostic while Microsoft and Apple and the rest duke it out. But, to their credit, Google’s strategists didn’t quite think like that. Something woke them up a few years ago.

I think it was the iPhone. In January 2007 when the iPhone was first announced, Google appeared on stage with glowing praise about the power of the web in your pocket. Yahoo were there too, remember them? Unlike their ancient rival though, Google had decided to play a bigger rôle in the smartphone market than they were letting on at Apple’s keynote. They had Android in the works. And Chrome.

There’s been a lot written about Android on the NetBook as well as on the phone. So far it’s not come to much. I’m not really an Android afficionado anyhow. Not until it starts to show the same kind of promise as Palm has done in the Pre. But Chrome OS on the laptop … now there’s a thought.

Google isn’t motivated by direct profit from software sales. This is an immense advantage compared to BeOS, OS/2, and the handful of other ludicrously archaic sounding commercial rivals Windows has slaughtered over its many years. Google isn’t motivated by selling hardware either. This opens up the cheap and nasty underbelly of the global market Apple cares not to touch. And Google isn’t immersed within the fractured politics of the open source movement in the same way as Ubuntu’s Canonical and Firefox’s Mozilla. Google makes its money through ads. That’s a terrific strength, given how they dominate this field. It means that if there’s one outfit in the world right now who can unilaterally make the Grand Unified Linux and get it on to hundreds of millions of machines, they are it.

If there were at last a time to displace Windows as the software of default on low end hardware, it has come. Google brings to Linux what no one else has managed so far: consistency and, I hope, common sense. If Google’s trademark minimalism can be brought off on the desktop, we could be really talking.

There’s already some squeamishness about this among believers in free software. It’s the same force against standardising on anything which has kept their products restricted to such a self-enforcing niche. But I know where the panic will really be felt. 2009 is turning out to be another trying year for Microsoft. How are they going to have to price Windows 7 to compete with Google’s free? How many more years will old granma XP be kept on life support to suit the lowest end hardware Google is targeting? That’s not a place you want to be. Expect some pretty hard wriggling out of Microsoft.

So, yes, I’m pretty stoked about Chrome OS. I’d be even happier if they gave it a catchier name, but the idea alone will do. Mac fanatic that I am, I’m unlikely to buy a system running it but the more power HTML 5 and all open standards receive, the better it is for my platform too. So here’s to the best of luck for Google.

I have to wonder though: will they give a fuck about Flash? Hope not.

Prequel to the Sequel

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 11:00:00 +0100

Prequel to the Sequel:

The reason it’s important that the Pre succeeds is so the mobile market doesn’t wind up like the desktop market — with just one single great experience, alone in a sea of crap.

This is where I differ with Gruber: Windows is the problem with the desktop computer market. That pile of shite rode on its brother’s coattails (remember DOS?) which itself was an artifact of IBM’s perceived power in the early 80’s. The desktop computer market (increasingly the laptop computer market now of course) is a fluke, not the general rule. C.f. pundit predictions for the iPod and iPhone — always based on the Mac v PC experience — and the startlingly different reality.

There used to be a wealth of ingenuity and innovation on the desktop too. The Amiga and Atari ST come to mind, and of course Acorn’s Archimedes. These platforms were all destroyed by the industry’s drive to “interoperability”, or strict conformity as that meant back then. Usability be damned! The Macintosh was almost killed too, surviving only thanks to the publishing niche it had fostered. If Commodore, Acorn and Atari could have lasted until the web — not Windows — became the global platform, how different would things be now? The PC story is a tragic comedy.

The Pre is a bit of a shameless rip off in some places, but at least it’s no Windows, Mobile or otherwise. Indeed, it has a promising alternate model for how many tasks are accomplished. I wish it the moderate best too, because Palm have one hell of a hill to climb, coming to the iPhone party a full two years and a billion downloads late. But the Pre is not the sole guardian between the smartphone market and the reeking cesspit which is the world of Vista. There’s no IBM to fuck this one up, no matter Microsoft’s prayers.

And Now: Star Trek

Tue, 19 May 2009 16:10:04 +0100

Who said Twitter wasn’t about writing reviews?

Saw Star Trek last night. Better than I expected. Officially “alright”. Could have been much worse. Not a classic though. Scotty was popular before the Morningside, Edinburgh audience. Could have used some trombone whenever his pet alien appeared though. I’d already heard young Kirk was a dick. But he appeared much more likeable than that. Was it all the times he got hit in the face? The music wasn’t good - oddly enough the car chase bit people complain about was the best - and the lens flare was indeed all there. Not a fan of the singularity physics either. But must always remember this is Star Trek… Plot was typical Star Trek big screen. As in convoluted and better in the buildup than the release. But overall, it did work. The Uhura-Spock thing wasn’t overdone to a cringe. Sulu didn’t unleash Kung-Fu whip ass despite all expectations. Alternate timeline was a bit of a cop out, yet understandable given the clear desire to make sequels of this prequel. I’m a picky bastard when it comes to SciFi so this wasn’t really at all bad. Easily the best rejuvenation of a classic I’ve seen in years.

about 2 hours ago from Twitterrific

Maybe there’s some rule about not multi-posting in some people’s minds, somewhere out there I don’t give a shit about. 140 characters just winds up being a good way to encourage punchy sentences. No; thank you:- excess punctuation!

The Art of Turkish Star Wars

Sat, 09 May 2009 15:00:00 +0100

Just watched Indiana Jones save the Earth and return home to the Death Star. No shit! #TurkishStarWars

2:41 AM May 3rd from TwitterFon

I saw this last week. “The Turkish Star Wars”, as it’s often called, thanks largely to the copious use of bootlegged footage. It is, I think it fair to say, one of the most singularly bat-shit insane movies ever made. Its inspirations come from far more than just Star Wars – Indiana Jones soundtrack is pilfered, as is Battlestar Galactica’s – and its martial arts training montage is bizarre homage to Bruce Lee. At least I think. This is a film where you can never really know!

Something I quite liked was the way Flash Gordon and Battlestar Galactica were raided for ideas. As, to put it mildly: this film makes no sense. It seems very likely that the makers were perplexed by the original Star Wars they had raided for shots and backdrops, and decided their resulting home-made Sci-Fi stew could use another few flavours.

Even the concept of space is confused in this story. Sometimes the Earth is just a planet, but sometimes it’s The World and the entire extent of the universe. The evil wizard – Emperor? no: wizard – decides to destroy it, while standing on it, making no clear sign of intention to leave. That’s pretty fucked up right there. Though if it’s not enough for you, did I mention his army of cookie monster minions?

I bet the people who went to see this on its theatrical release in Turkey in the early 1980’s must have been in for a treat. Especially as the real Star Wars was not originally shown there. No, this was it.

If you’ve an evening in need of the surreal, which to be fair was made with a few laughs clearly in mind, I can commend the freely available Turkish Star Wars as a suitably freaky feast. Watch it if you dare.

On an almost appropriately far-fetched tangent of a link, also have a few seconds for this. The clouds were my idea.

Lost Geocities

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:10:00 +0100

Lost Geocities:

“No, it’s important equally much for the content as the fact it’s the first time many people used the web and wanted to be a part of it. The process of human beings coming online and being given a potential audience of millions is a specific and unique situation in human history, and should be captured.”

But Bits Were Born to be Free?!?

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 12:17:07 +0100

But Bits Were Born to be Free?!?:

I’ll freely admit that I have Transmission around for the occasional download. It makes sense for unavailable old shows or live bootlegs. So I’m not as “anti-piracy” as many who like to weigh in, Manichean style, on the issue.

But I must say it’s amusing to see the vanguard of “no: you have no fucking right to charge money for your work!” trying to get some dough of their own.

Computers, and the global network joining them together, are based on copying data. It’s how everything works, like it or not. Ergo bootlegging (or “piracy” to those who’ve never heard of the real deal) is trivial. It takes effort to prevent this kind of thing. Effort with a large risk of annoying your best customers.

Let’s just put it this way: iTunes and Amazon can do a swift trade in DRM free music because there’s value in that service. I fancy their chances for dominating video, longterm, far better than BluRay.

But when you find yourself in a spot where no store carries the obscure shit you’re looking for, well, just make sure your torrent client is open source.

Single Lens Reflex

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:42:05 +0100

You walk down the stairs and to the door. The sun’s low. Shadows crawl the hallway. People hurry by on the pavement, talking to themselves, uninterested in the man whose eyes blink from the brightness. It’s not just the light though. Something’s wrong.

“Real life has no HUD.”

It’s true. That’s what’s missing. Your eyes twitch, searching for the numbers and controls which are not there. It’s unnerving. It’s just you, the world and your camera.

Welcome to Single Lens Reflex.

Oh Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fucking Fuck

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 23:49:23 +0100

Oh Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fucking Fuck:

Imagine it was Apple whose profits had fallen 90% year on year. Go on: give it a shot. Then compare with the media “meh” to this one. Groobs is right: the silence, and the duplicitous narcissism, is deafening.

Zune HD

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 14:36:12 +0100

Zune HD:

Over a week late for April Fool’s.

“What do people love about the iPhone? The interface … nah. The apps … surely not. How about the hardware? Yeah, it must be the hardware. Let’s cram 720p inside the same space. Oh they are so busted!”

I love how Microsoft are so determined to act out the “beleaguered” fantasy right now. This is the sort of idiocy hitherto limited to banks…

Dear Digg

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:18:55 +0100

Dear Digg:

Brilliant little hack by teh Groobs. I’ve always had the same feeling about Digg and its ilk, and this blast from the past framing thing sucks goat balls.

A small tale of Mariokart.

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:28:00 +0100

Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1998 12:05:44 +0000

Once upon a time, last Sunday in fact, John got hold of an emulator finally capable of dealing with the disputed best game of all on that king of computers the SNES. It was good. The game loaded - but with a different sound effect for the logo at the start. “Well fair enough,” I thought, “maybe it’s a little bit screwy, but not much surely?”

How could I dare to ask such a thing? The menus were stuck behind everything whenever they appeared - but as an experienced MK player I knew my way through them blindfolded; which was fortunate. I selected a Grand Prix and a very very VERY jerky grid of the Mario Circuit 1 squirmed effortlessly toward me on the LCD screen, which can usually blur its way through anything with more than 10 frames a second or so.

Mario sat there waiting, last on the grid. Go - and off I went, cutting the curb at the first corner. This resulted in the cloud guy coming over and lifting me into the air for no reason. I then resumed and tried driving over coins and question marks - but none of them were collected, which was also quite annoying. Then I decided to take a short cut through the barrier WHICH WORKED, and managed to catch up on the leaders by a few sucessive 5 second laps, which consisted of small circles over the finish line. There was no big number indicator to show me where I was in the race (and I’d tried using the number keys to change the overlays, but couldn’t get it) so I guessed I was on the same lap as them and decided to engage them.

Kong bashed me repeatedly and removed all of my coins (and I had no way of replacing them), and MarioKart in 3 frames a second or so, on a laptop keyboard, with a bit of a control delay was a tad trying.

Then as I recovered their attacks and pursued them to the line the screen suddenly flashed in a bright CRASH like manner (which it only usually does that bright when you alt-ctrl-delete it to resart) and the screen was filled with fluent jibberish about data values and command addresses and I was left at the dos prompt with sound effects still looping manically.

IT IS A GREAT GAME THOUGH.

Besides SOS, it’s probably the best on the emulator - and I’d like to see it in acid mode on Stephen’s computer like with SF2 turbo.

Its actually better in Time Trials where the frame rate triples or so,but the tracks are still a little eccentric especially Ghost Valley 2.

This circuit consists entirely of random textures and when you drive ANYTHING happens, and all to a cacophony of rarely heard SNES sounds!

When I raced there, Donkey Kong actually started before the lights changed while the rest of us were waiting on the grid! But he didn’t get far - as all the computer characters headed off in random directions and befell the same chaotic fates as I did. The cloud guy had a busy time that race. I don’t think that race could ever end anyway, as no one was getting anywhere. Infinite Ghost Valley, which was for once truly spooky.

This game is great - I am now the 2 second lap king - and it is so ***ked up as to be enjoyable in its slow series of mad sucessive frames way.

Princes Street Apple Store?

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:43:44 +0100

Princes Street Apple Store?:

Nice plans for an unidentified but decidedly Apple-like store to replace the defunct Virgin on Princes street, uncovered in this thread at IfoAppleStore. Great find and excellent news!

Subs, goddamnit, subs!

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:53:47 +0100

Subs, goddamnit, subs!:

Fantastic article. Its not like these stupid fucking carrier groups are even putting off Somali pirate kids with RPG’s.

Financial Engineering

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 11:51:29 +0000

Financial Engineering:

That chart of Wall Street salaries versus deregulation over the last century is really quite compelling. Even shows a lead time.

But paying the regulators more? Even though it might arguably stave recessions and save untold trillions of dollars, it’s a damn tricky political sale. Fat chance unless things really change.

Bad Feeling

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 17:27:39 +0000

Oh yes: it’s a Euro Election year. (Insert mandatory yawn here.) But that always means one thing: someone plays the xenophobia card.

UKIP, I’m looking at you. That stunt you pulled with the Dutch Nazi wasn’t exactly subtle.

Who needs to wind people up over Europe when race will do. Just ask Kilroy. Yeah: I can just about remember him. Tosspot.

Enjoy this ironic holiday.

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 18:35:03 +0000

Enjoy this ironic holiday.

iPhone Software 3.0?

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 23:32:56 +0000

This whole roadmap in March thing’s becoming an annual tradition. Naturally, I’m hoping to see push notifications this time. Much more so than copy and paste! One thing not to expect is full blown multitasking among third party apps; not with 128 megs of memory in total. I’m not expecting major new hardware this year either. Though I have, of course, been known to be wrong…

Another Ridiculous App Store Rejection

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:34:31 +0000

Another Ridiculous App Store Rejection:

Fortunately none of my apps currently in the kitchen feature such external complexities as Tweetie’s. Even more fortunately: Apple soon enough saw the light. In all I’m definitely of the mind that the App Store is better off with its dictator than without. So long as this dictator knows we have our eyes on him and isn’t a total douche. Note: still not recommended for government!

Tumblr on iPhone

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 22:56:12 +0000

Just giving the dedicated app a try. Tags, edits, and general not being a pain are top priorities.

Times Change

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 10:31:00 +0000

Times Change:

I bought my first Mac a few months later and yes: Internet Explorer sucked. I liked the rest of the experience, but couldn’t get along with the browser. Fortunately, Safari beta was announced at the same time as my 12” PowerBook, so I soon ran that instead. Today that same system runs Leopard and Safari 4. I remember a doubting Windows-using friend telling me the Mac was dead when Microsoft pulled Internet Explorer later in 2003. Quite how he still expects me to ever believe his advice is beyond me!